In The Rain

It was raining on me
I told myself to stand
But I had to kneel down
On the ground place my hand

The rain came down harder
I told myself to stay
I wanted to be strong enough
But on the dirt, I lay

Covered in mud then
I told myself do not cry
But the tears did not listen
As they fell from my eyes

I wanted to give up
I told myself it was over
But suddenly like lightning
You pulled me up by my shoulders

How I was weak
And weary, friend
But you gave me
The chance to live again

I've learned many things
But this one is true
When it does rain
I'll hold on to you.

Your Secret and Mine

I heard your secret today. I'm not going to lie. It came at a bad time. I was standing in the middle of a bunch of people and I couldn't breathe. My heart pounded anger into my ears. I wish you could have seen me though, trying to make it through lunch without exploding. Later I went back to my room, angry as hell. I went through everything again, ripping up the last of our things. As I was tearing up the white rose(remember the one you bought me for Valentines Day?), I started to laugh. I laughed so hard tears came to my eyes. These are some of the thoughts that went through my mind. I thought u might like to know. Are you going to hold her close, dancing late into the night? Are you going to replace me with her? Are you going to wipe away her fears when shes scared? Is it going to make you complete? Have you finally found what you want? But wait...What are you going to tell her when your mind is far away? When your missing me? When you realize that I'm gone forever? When the mistake is made? Do you miss my laugh, our talks, my voice? I'm smiling, can you see me? Make sure that you have fun, dance that night away, kiss her goodnight, the whole damn thing. But...When you wake up early one morning and can't sleep. You'll reach for the phone and start to dial my number. I want you to know, I won't be there. Someone else will be holding me at night...isn't he lucky? haha, can you hear me laughing? It's my fault is it? Yeah, your probably right, it is. Sometimes I love to take the blame. You may not hear my secret today, or the next. But you will and it will be the sound of my voice telling you I'm with someone else and I'll be smiling. Don't you love secrets?

One Last Goodbye

You were the constant in me
But your gone for the first time in so long
I'm wishing I could drown myself
In every word, or lyric, in every song

I used to think I knew you
I knew how beautiful my future could be
Until this mysterious void
Crawled in between you and me

I won't ask for any more answers
Love never came with intructions, I've found
I made it to the top of the world
And fell all the way back down

The things we've seen are undescribable
I wish I could wipe my memory blank, start over again
I want to make this easy, not that it will ever be
Please walk away, remember once we were friends

Take your guitar, your smile, your face
Cross the road and don't look back anymore
I won't be here, my happiness is somewhere else
Never again will I be found waiting at your door

We've said goodbye so many times, but this is the one
To a beautiful thing, that could never last
I'll wipe my eyes and leave you only in my past
And to that I'll smile and lift my glass.

Being Broken

All my life, Everyone said
You're boken
Something inside you is broken
I belived them
Never doubting a word
I walked through
Each and everyday
Being broken
But today I realized
I healed myself
I don't know how
I can't tell you when
But I want to tell you
I'm better now
I'm not scared anymore


I see your face
And my smile fades
All I hear you say is
It's too late
You're too late
I don't understand
I'm not broken
I'm screaming
To your back
As you walk out of my life
If I'm not broken
Why does it hurt
So much
Why didn't I ever feel
This before
Maybe this is what
Being broken
really means.

Listening

It's yes
then no
It doesn't matter
But it does
If it didn't
I wouldn't be listening
I am
I am listening
Not only listening
I'm hearing
Hearing:
words
punctuation
syllables
pauses
stop?start?now?tomarrow?
never?
I'm listening
Still listening
Words
Upon words
Are spoken, then spoke again
right?
wrong?
Tell me
Listening
Days, more days
Waiting
To hear
Something, Anything
But only
THE TRUTH...

Differences

Jaged edges, im jaged edges
who are u?
a bottle, a bottle of emptyness
Who am i?
shivers but not in cold
who are u?
false eyelashes without glue
Who am i?
tie in the basketball game
who are u?
the stair at the top
Who am i?
Not who you want me to be.

A Little Touch of Home

Nothing felt good like
Looking out over the rows of corn
Running through that yard
The sun pouring down
Grandma wanting to feed us
Grandpa working on his tractor
Little Mitchy watching TV
Memories that my mind
Will never shake
Watermelon faces
and a red tricycle
Laughter never failed
In funny papers
Digging potatoes
In fresh Illinois dirt
Upstairs in boxes
We could be anything
Around the Mulberry bush
Rubarb, and orange lilies

I can always be found

Atop the cherry tree

Ruler of the world

With scraped up knees

and dirt on my chin.