Honestly...

~Things on my mind~

There are things I have to say. Things that have to stop being lies. I want to quit lying to myself and say what I really want inside. I want you to go. I want you to depend on yourself for awhile. I want to be on my own. I want space, lonliness, and longing. I always want to be your friend even if it kills me inside. I want you to try and be with someone else...because I think it would help you understand a lot of things about us and me. Sometimes in our relationship, I'm the adult..and your the child...but you have to learn to be the adult too. Forever..isn't real...it's just a word that people try to place on relationships. You don't understand a lot of things I say or do and that is something that will probably never change..I know myself finally and that's one thing in life that's the hardest to do...but I'm not scared or ashamed..I'm just being honest..after all this time...I thought that we were on the same page when I came home this summer when I heard you say that we would probably go our seperate ways after summer was over..so we could concentrate on school..not so much on our relationship...I'm not good at long lasting relationships...I like to leave when I please...but I'm never good at being alone...I know that's one thing I have to learn to do...so time apart will be good for me and for you...this isn't goodbye forever..because like I said..Forever is just a word.